“You can’t google your way to a degree!” No, but you can certainly find some interesting reading and some of it might even be true. I didn’t google this time. I looked up “INFP” on wordpress. I’m quite certain I’m an INFP, and what I’m reading on the blogs, I recognise from myself. Allow me to share the bit of data I can strongly relate to.

Trust issues

“The INFP’s approach to every situation is to grant trust and respect from the outset. It then becomes yours to lose. It should be noted that if you violate an INFP’s loyalty or trust then you’re DONE! They will never trust you again. But this is unlike the “done with you” of an INTj or INFj. The INFP will still talk to you, they still listen to you. They will let you be part of their lives… but you’ll never ever regain that which you lost because by violating the trust and loyalty you burnt down the house it lived in [...] -the point being here that the only adage “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me” holds true for the INFP. And, INFPs don’t like being fooled.” (got it from here)

It’s funny. I’ve done this, and I’ve considered it a life philosophy more than a personality trait. I obviously can’t love everybody. And I certainly can’t trust everybody - but to me, that’s different! I do believe that everyone deserves trust to begin with. It’s free. But once lost, I don’t give another carrot. It sounds a bit harsh, but as stated in the quote: It’s not that I stop liking the person or shuts him/her completely out. That would not be forgiving.

Rather, I just keep our relationship on a superficial and “safe” level where the person won’t get another chance at getting to me. However, I feel challenged by the statement that true forgiveness would be to let them inside again and re-establish the intimacy we’ve lost. I don’t see myself able to do that in an authentic way. And people have been disappointed with me in that aspect.

Confrontation

Some wise guy comments on the differences between INFJ and INFP:

“INFJ’s tend to be outgoing and almost enjoy dealing with people problems even if minor confrontations occur. Their Feeling side is Extraverted. INFP’s tend to avoid confrontation, at least to the point where confrontations are inevitable and then they turn into their true warrior selves. Their Feeling side is Introverted so they are more impacted by the negativity. INFP’s are hurt by rejection and don’t expect it. INFJ’s are less hurt by rejection because they expect it.”

It’s funny. The J’s always seem more extrovert to me. I thought it just looked like that because they are so determined. I, on the other hand, am neither extrovert nor determined. I find myself being pushed to the edge before doing what I’ve considered doing. Mosty when I’m angry.

I will let people walk over me a 100 times before telling them directly that I would be most satisfied with ripping out their lungs and squash their hearts. The anger stays within till the point when I explode. People get surprised, because they didn’t think I had it within me. But I did. I was storing it for the final powerful “let out”. Doesn’t make me a warrior, though. Except I usually feel fantastic afterwards as if the whole world is applauding me! ‘Well done, INFP! Way to go!’

Reserved, but not distant

“Although they demonstrate a cool reserve toward others, inside they are anything but distant. They have a capacity for caring which is not always found in other types. They care deeply - indeed, passionately - about a few special persons or a cause. One word that captures this type is idealistic.” (Found it here)

I always wondered how people perceived me. I’ve been thinking that I often look like a rather apathetic person — someone who cares about nobody and nothing. However, I always felt like a people’s person on the inside, which obviously sounds kind of stupid. But according to this description, it’s not.

Own world

I found a great homepage about the Myers-Briggs. Well, the content is good while the page looks pretty oldschool. Click Myers-Briggs, and you may go on from there to the page describing the INFP. They call it “the dreamer”. My friends prefer David Keisey’s descriptions, but already having read that I went for the other one this time. So the quotes taken are from Sandra Krebs Hirsch and Jean Kummerow.

“INFP children often create their own fantasy world and live very much within it. They may daydream about what is important to them, and sometimes others wonder if they are in touch with reality. They often get lost in their thoughts and books, and may develop a special ability in communicating, such as writing.”

I remember having done that. And when it comes to writing, I’ve written three long fantasy stories (novels, I suppose) and a lot of short-stories throughout my childhood.

Process must be meaningful

“INFPs need a purpose beyond the paycheck.”
“Their job must be fun, although not racous, and it must be meaningful to them. They need a strong purpose in their work. They want to be recognized and valued, without undue attention given to them.”
“INFPs prefer occupations in which they can be involved in making the world better. Having their heart in their work is important to them.”

This probably holds true to all people in the long run. But in INFP’s case, I think it’s extreme. I can’t imagine myself working at McDonald’s for a temporal period just for money. I can’t imagine myself doing anything for money, unless there was more to it! And it really bothers me. Especially now when I feel the need to get a job and make some decent money. I’m scared of what pointless work I’ll have to do.

Keep polishing, may never finish

“They have trouble finishing what they start because of their perfectionistic nature. When they do finish a project, they may not consider it done ‘for good.’ Projects can always be improved upon, revised, and reworked, and therefore INFPs find it hard to bring tasks to closure. Because they are able to visualize the finished product long before it is done, the actual completion is of less importance.”

I’m not really certain, if I’ll ever get this posted. When I’ve posted it, I go through it again. I may correct mistakes, and I may change sentences ten times. The posts in your rss feeds may look very different from the end result. Also, I need to say that I have a thousand drafts. So many topics I started blogging about, but they never made it to the actual blog.

Career choises

“INFPs are particularly interested to be counselor, editor, education consultant, English teacher, fine arts teacher, journalist, psychologist, religious educator, social scientist, social worker, teacher, writer, and other occupations that engage their values.”

There you have it! And it is so true. Though I never considered “social scientist” not knowing what it is, but science about social behaviours and patterns sounds pretty interesting! I will have to look into that. I considered Danish teacher (being Danish), also journalist. I never considered psychologist, but I did have psychology in school. Religious educator seems quite obvious since I’m becoming a minister. Someone says that 95% of ministers are NFs.

Obeying or rebellious?

“They do not like following all the rules and regulations, but they are not overtly rebellious.”

I was discussing this with an INFJ who (sort of) claimed I was afraid to break rules. Not really. This quote fit me very well, I should think.

Leisure

“Many of the INFPs’ leisure activities are done alone — reading, listening to music, and gardening are some activities likely to appeal to them. Reflection time and the opportunity to make sure things are right are important. INFPs often enjoy leisure pursuits with loved ones as well. When they want to be sociable, they can be exceedingly charming and outgoing. Their flexibility, gentleness, and sense of humour can make them quite popular in social situations.”

Gardening struck me as peculiar. This is a side I have not yet discovered, if true at all? But I do remember helping dad out in the garden, and I really enjoyed it. The real question is whether I liked gardening or just enjoyed helping dad. But reading and listening to music is cool. And writing, as mentioned. And I like that my personality type has a sense of humour.

Expressing love

This I really dislike about myself:

“INFPs may have difficulty sharing their feelings about others. They keep so many of those feelings inside that they may forget to tell their partner how much they love and appreciate them. They also need reminders of their partner’s love.”

And furthermore:

“When things go wrong in a relationship, the INFP takes it to heart but does not readily discuss it with others. They may not be willing to communicate to let others know how they are feeling. When scorned, they are very hurt and may overreact in an almost maudlin way.”

Makes me go yukk! I hate people like that who don’t tell what’s bothering them. And I do feel sorry for my future partner on that account. Or these accounts. But I’m aware of it, at least.

In the end

Reading this stuff was kind of nice. It’s generally nice to see someone understands one. All I have to say to certain people is that I’m an INFP, and then they can look me up, and they should know to some extent how I think and work. I don’t like being predictable or figured-out, but I do like being understood and respected. And of course I had a similar experience to this INFP:

“Wow. I keep reading, and think, yes, yes, this is me! This is why I am introverted, why people think I am a snob but am really just shy, and slow to warm to others, this is why I am always with my head in the clouds, and idealistic, why I am always looking for praise and reassurance,this is why I like to work alone and get tense when it’s time for group projects, it’s all there!”

I’m gonna do something odd this time. I’m just gonna post it. No cutting down, no correcting. I won’t be easy, but here goes! :s

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